Wishing It wasn't

Course card day... From the get to, you'll know what the drama is gonna be all about. I ain't in the DL anymore. That's official. It never happened that I was on it for 2 consecutive terms. I'm on it, then the next term I won't be then I'll pop right in again. Feels like shit. It's like being unable to prove something to yourself. I know a lot of people won't understand. But passing ain't everything to me. You have to rise above mediocrity once in a while if you're made for it and everytime if you live for it. I feel less of a person whenever I'm mediocre. Life is all about being great. 2.888 from a nice 3.425. Fucking downhill for me right there. Stupid shit.

And this day is something else. I wish I had the power to start it all over again. Ali was being cold toward me (or so I think she was) and so I tried extra hard for her to warm up, hence being totally annoying which she hated. And the rest is rotten history. Bitch day!

Bother Me

I should be sleeping now... I swear I should be. Course card distibution day tomorrow. I should muster all the sanity I have the before that slimy day. Learn how to get a grip of myself and control the ever awry nerves of mine. Warcraft's calling me, begging me to finish the Undead Campaign (yeah, the Lich King and what not). But my mind's focused onto something else right now, something quite sinister. Should I wack this roach or spray it off?

I told you I'm psycho. And a hungry one indeed. Damn appetite of mine. I eat 5 times a day and still not a notch on the weighing scale has been added to me. Freaking metabolism. I'm still a 110 lbs., 50kilo thin man. I look like a freaking highschool student. And I don't know if that's a good thing or not. And a nasty headache. A bitch of such, that is. I gotta go now in to the arms of boredom and the heart of computer games. Oh yeah!

Night Crawling

A Sunday night. Usually, this time, at over at my condo, waiting for sleep to come to me. But I'm letting this 2 weeks worth of break stay on my tongue as long as possible so I'm in front of my computer, surfing the ever vast world of cyberspace and downloading songs over Limewire for a big dose of auditory pleasure. I don't wanna think about course card day just yet. There'll be plenty of time for that. Let me have my peace for tonight. RnB and House playing in the background. And I'm realizing I ain't really satisfied with my life right now. My thoughts are so fast on the transit nowadays. I keep thinking about the trivial things and pondering about them leads me to realize that they ain't really trivial. I'm such a mess when I think. I battle with myself everytime when I do and right now, there's a war being waged inside my head by myself and another part of me. Fucking sick if you ask me. I'm like Mr. Bates or something. The mental drama--psycho stuff.

And hunny, you do realize I look super ugly on those pix, right? Everytime we camwhore, we end up with two kinds of pictures. Its either I look ugly or otherwise. You just love using the first kind. Dunno why... Here's a better version.

And just to drive things crazy... A crazy photo manipulation sample.

..the ties that bind..

"i knew i loved you before i met you.. i think i dreamed you into life.."

Last Thursday had to be one of the best days of my life!! I got the POLISCI exam over and done with (Thank God for the invention of something called "time").. originally, Shiftee and I were planning to head on over to RobManila on a triple date with Ross & Jules and Trish & Fourth.. Apparently, Jules and Ross decided to do things privately (i got the full scoop from him yesterday.. and my!! i missed out on a lot!! *tsk tsk*) and it took a while before Trish and Fourth could agree on whether or not they were coming with us..

Aryt.. if you're a stranger.. you might be thinking.. "who the hell are trish and fourth?".. they happen to be my blockmates and two of my ever-so-dear college friends.. i have been with them since the start and i am more than happy to share a brief version of their love story..

if you happen to be one of their closest friends, you would find joy inside thinking these two would eventually hook up with each other.. A product of something called "mutual understanding", these two hit it off the moment i saw both of the separately.. i knew there was something looming between these guys when i saw them during my LPEP.. i have no idea who made the first move, but things just started happening during our Freshman Convocation a little more than a month ago.. they've been inseparable ever since.. im just soooo happy for them..

They happen to be one of the funniest people together.. my golly!! it took them ages to decide on whether or not they were going with me and Shiftee.. finally, after 15minutes of nonsensical arguing, they agreed.. our next challenge was to flag down a taxi that was going to bring us there..

Trish was the most hilarious one.. all she did was stick her hand out, wave it in some weird way and go "uhhmmm.. excuse me.. taxi???" hahahaha!! priceless baby!! i swear.. when we finally got inside the taxi, Trish and Fourth never stopped arguing about the most trivial things ever!! it was such a cute sight.. and it reminded me of how Shiftee and I were like back then..

When we finally got to RobManila, the 4 of us were really starving.. but we had no idea where to eat.. Shiftee wanted to eat at Pancake House, but I felt Trish and Fourth didn't have the money to afford it.. so, we strolled around.. and around.. and around.. until we finally decided to go our separate ways and watch the movie together..

choosing the movie was another thing.. Shiftee wanted to watch "my super Ex-girlfriend".. Trish and I wanted to watch "snakes on a plane".. Fouth wanted to watch "Little Man".. But, since Shiftee and I finished lunch early, we ended up watching his choice at Cinema 3.. Trish and Fourth later followed and joined us.. once in a while, i'd look at them and they'd be busy canoodling and stuff.. i told myself that this was going to be the first memorable double date ever.. seeing my two friends there and having my boyfriend next to me was already something worth remembering..

after the date ended, shiftee and I endured more nonsensical ramblings from Trish and Fourth as we made our way back to DLSU.. from RobManila, we could see Trish's condo and she constantly kept saying: "that's my home!!" and Fourth kept teasing her.. but the moment we turned and her condo was out of sight, Fourth teased her "pano na yan, Trish?? Wala ka nang bahay!!" and they kept slapping each other for no reason.. Shiftee was at the passenger seat and i held his hand while I kept laughing at the mannerisms of the crazy couple that sat beside me..

upon arriving at DLSU, fourth walked trish to her condo.. and Shiftee and I were left to wait for my ride.. i ended up smiling at how things turned out.. i guess this is why more relationships work out when you're in college.. you're mentally and emotionally stable to have someone with you.. and i'm guessing you aint that immature to break it off instantly once things go wrong.. wow.. it's a miracle..

yeah.. we had camwhoring sessions afterward.. we were bored beyond our wits.. so, you can't blame us..



helooooooooooooooo sembreak!!! haha!!! my body hurts from too much Pilates.. damn reformer.. oh the price of getting abs.. till next time..xx

Frustrations on a Friday plus a Fiasco

...nothing really direct, in your face, kinda revelation here. Just the stuff that ruined my almost perfect Friday.

>my dad almost walking in on something
>eating at Red Ribbon with their stupid small rice serving and fucking slow service
>forgot that there was this restaurant I always wanted to go to and ending up in Red Ribbon
>no money to lounge around Starbucks
>my cellphone's been kinda busted
>my dad overstaying
>humid weather ( i hate that too)
>my dad
>my dad
>akward, weird quiet moments along chess plaza
>frustrated like shit
>feeling like shit
>and most of all, feeling bad about the fact that I'm feeling bad about the thing that made me feel so bad. I ain't like that. *it's okay. you shouldn't get it anyway. that's the whole point*

Started this day perfectly, ended it like a pure disaster. Freaking people ruining all the fun. I better start with my vacation. Things might just be better. But this week is still the best one I ever had in my entire life, thanks to Ali and McNuggets, Adobo Sulipan, mashed potato and extra rice. People just kept destroying it for me

I'll be Having my Sanity Back

Yeah, August 22... It's another term survived for me by the help of tricks, clean and dirty and all their cousins and yet another term waiting in the wings to drive me to the brink of insanity. And this time, I would mean that to the fullest sense of the word since majors are gonna start. Oh, the ordeal of INTRECO and the ease of BIOARTS--exams I'm sure I took with decent confidence. Finally, I solved problems in INTRECO that I'm so sure in answering that I'm willing to get shot in case someone can prove me wrong. All in all, I'm quite sure that I have a chance at passing despite the 34% exam ( shit). This is finals week. Well, it's supposed to be that way but I only have two exams in the same day and so my vacation gets extended to a to a whopping total of 3 weeks, baby! Good vibes keep coming on despite the fact that I'll be so totally broke once term break starts. That's the only irony right there. Well, you can't have it all anyway. But combine the good things with good days with Ali and everything's bound to be perfect. Running low on ideas since I'm totally euphoric about finally having some time to breathe. But not to worry. I'll have the time in the world for engendering new ones.

But until that happens, I'm a float with this rare, elusive feeling.

..long time no-see..

When you’ve been gone for so long, it feels as if a part of you’s been missing… haha!! I won’t be all emo here.. but it’s been more than a week since I last posted and there are lots of things I have been waiting to jot down here..

Justice works in Mysterious Ways
Yeah.. just like God.. there really is justice in the world. First, JonBenet Ramsey’s killer has been finally caught after 10 long years of searching for him. So, who’s JonBenet? Well, I’ve been intrigued by her story since I was young and her murder was the one responsible for launching my weird fascination with serial killers and pedophiles (yeah.. weird.. I know). She was a young beauty queen contestant who was found murdered in her home the morning after Christmas, 1996. Her autopsy revealed that she had been beaten, strangled and sexually assaulted. I took pity on this kid since she didn’t deserve dying—at that age and that way. She could have done so much and whoever did this really deserved to die.

Fast forward to today, her killer – a schoolteacher- confessed to her murder. During his confession, he openly told the authorities how much he was “obsessed with her” and how much he “loved her”. During JonBenet’s murder, he was 31. Gosh, things like this really make me sick to my stomach.

The second incident involves my Youth Pastor at my former church. His contract was not renewed and I heard he’s going to be leaving in December. This was the same guy who “exercised” his leadership powers in telling me and my bestfriend that “we didn’t belong” in the Junior High class just because we didn’t want to move up to his Senior High class. He kept on babbling and babbling—but since I didn’t want to shout in his face, I just got up and walked out. Since then, he’s been doing the same to some of my classmates who refuse to move up to the other class. The last straw came when he fired my bestfriend, Ate Angel, on, what I call, insufficient grounds. He said she was “talking against him and misproclaiming the word of God” when really he was threatened by her because everybody loved her. Sorry, dude. Go back to Latvia.. and take your precious Latvian flag with you. The flags in the Main Sanctuary would decrease by one—and that’s your flag. But it really doesn’t make any difference since you were the lone Latvian population there. See you!! Won’t be missing you!!

Update on my Debut Article
It’s hard to be a budding campus journalist!! Yeah.. especially when you’re working in one of the most-praised university newspapers in the whole country!! Urgh!! Sooooooooooo stressed!!!
My assignment’s about the Common Beauty Stereotypes—and how they seem to be erasing the typical Filipina identity. I just realized how much influence the media portrays in every move Filipinos make. Actually, I feel as if they’ve brainwashed our minds into changing what the definition of the word “beauty” and how it relates to our society. Filipinas want to be like Americans – fair skinned, blonde with blue eyes. Americans, on the other hand, want to be just like Filipinas – dark skinned and brunette. Crazy world we live in, huh?


FINALS!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Finals week—I only have to worry about POLISCI since TREDONE and MATAPRE and wrapped around my finger. Of all subjects to give finals in!! IT HAD TO BE THAT!!! Now I’m stuck here at home reviewing my notes from Pluto’s Utopia to the Checks and Balances system existing within the three major branches of the government. But thank God the first term’s coming to an end.. NO MORE POLISCI!!! Wheeeee!!! However, my dreams of reaching the Dean’s List are slowly disappearing.. Part of my feels that I am still going to make it, while the other greatly doubts the possibility of me still making it. I have worked hard. We’ll just see come Course Card Distribution Day.

Happy One Month!!!
One month tomorrow.. im really excited!! It’s been a month since Shiftee and I officially became a couple and we’re just happy that everything’s been falling into place since July 21.. happy monthsary, hunny!!! I’m just soooooooo blessed to have you with me…

“I don’t wanna miss one smile.. I don’t wanna miss one kiss.. I just wanna be with you right here, right now.. With just one kiss…
I just wanna hold you close.. Feel your heart so close to mine.. and just stay here in this moment, for all the rest of time…”

I LUV YOU HUNNY!!! <07.21.2006>

Phenomenally Failing... and I'm so good at It

This week has got to be the craziest ever this term. It ain’t caught up in so much school stuff but INTRECO has got my mind frying in so many ways than one. 2 long quizzes and I mean long (worth two meetings) and a final exam—that primarily will judge your fate. And so with the 1st long quiz, I got a phenomenal 34%, a little over half the passing mark. And this Saturday, my 2nd quiz is in the bag. I don’t know how I did but I can pretty much claim that I did better than the first one. I ain’t ready to fail anything just yet, specially when I know that I did my best studying for the both of the exams. This Tuesday, its me against myself once again, final exam for INTRECO. All or nothing, baby. And this week, I got Ali crying to me over his putang inang polisci prof. Gawd. I wish me both make it through this term. And goodbye Dean’s List.

Thoughts at Random Blah

Saturday, August 11, 2006. Inuman sessions went on over at my former high school classmate. Beer was flowing and so I got tipsy. The videoke just wanted to work it out with me and like a hot chic, poured its powers over me and so I sang my heart out. I was singing to Superstar by Carpenters and a bit of modern RnB. But when it came to singing Madonna’s Take A Bow and Whitney’s I Wanna Dance with somebody, I knew I was a bit drunk.

I got home and texted my hunny up. I told her to stay up late with me so we can talk even if I was tipsy. But a reply came telling me she’ll meet up with her ex-boyfriend to talk things over. At first it came like nothing to me but after I took a shower and was back to being sober, I started being terrified. I cried my stupid self out from 1 to 5 am and got to sleep until 10 in the morning. But I woke up crying to from a nightmare where she conspired with this guy to dump me in some woody place. I was a mess after having a good time… so typical of me. But then I got to talk things out with my hun and she comforted me. I trust her and all, don’t get me wrong. You just can’t blame me for being scared of losing her.

And Slyde, or Christian Ardiente is on Pinoy Dream Academy?! Hahahaha… that’s one move I never saw he’d be doing. The guy who taught me the basics of being a dj is on his way to fame! Hahahaha… good luck, mister slyde. I’ll be voting for ya.

..oh the week that was..

shiftee and i enjoyed last week.. and though there were a few bumps on the road, we still managed to pull of another awesome and glorious week together. oh yeah, countdown to first monthsary: 9 more days to go!!

oh well.. i won't be having PoliSci for the next week (can you spell "HEAVEN"..??) and im still slowly recovering from that FreeCut during PE (narrow escape, if you ask me) and i have to say that this week was totally amazing!! i mean.. everything just went flawlessly.. my group kinda aced our CRITHIN report about Multi-Level Marketing.. and i was dead worried about it the night before since i lost my voice due to this very horrible cold i got out of nowhere.. and then came the Chemistry debate wherein my group had to defend our stand about having nuclear energy as a viable alternative energy source here in the country.. tempers flared.. yeah.. but there was no catfighting whatsoever (i bet some of the guys were disappointed.. HARHAR!!) but i managed to keep my cool the whole time.. for someone who loses her patience during nonsensical ramblings, that was already considered an achievement.

Let's punch in some numbers, shall we?

Number of times I had Chicken Tenders this week: 8
Number of times I spoke during the Debate: 2
Number of times I teased Jules about his stupidity: 10,000
Number of questions I left blank during the MATAPRE final quiz: 0
Number of people who were texting me for answers during the MATAPRE quiz: 11
Number of people I gave answers to during the MATAPRE final quiz: 11
Number of pictures taken with my hunny this week: 5 (hun!! we are UNDER the "budget" harhar!!)
Number of times I wanted to be with my hunny: infinite
Number of times I texted by hunny this week: leave that to Globe
Number of times I thought about my hunny: countless

***********************

TO MY HUNNY: Your two daughters (Linds & Zet) say hi.. they miss their daddy already.. please DO NOT smoke during your little reunion.. HAHA!!! i miss you already..xx

..when his tears started flowing..

..just to let you guys know.. i HAVE a heart-- and i don't take heart in scolding people for a living. No. that's not me. For those who know me, im all smiles until someone rains on my parade (*cough cough* LR23!! guess who?!?!) since i don't like it when people try to stomp on my ever-precious and continuously glowing aura.. but once that happens, i assure you that things will never be the same again.. I throw a BF (a bitch fit!! haha!!) and i start throwing words that inflict more pain than daggers to the skin.. yeah, im an inner animal waiting to pounce on innocent victims.. but trust me, i don't like being labeled as a "ticking time bomb".. no way!!

yeah.. we argued yesterday.. but when his eyes started to water, i changed my whole demeanor.. i was no longer the "mad & upset girlfriend" that i was for ten minutes, instead i wanted to comfort him and hold him.. i wanted to wipe his tears away and hold his hand.. i had scared the living hell out of him and i feared his perception of me would change right then and there. I didn't want him to be afraid of me because the thought of him keeping things from me just killed me. i uttered the words i knew he wanted to hear: "hunny.. im sorry."

we made up afterwards and had pictures taken.. just like good times. Unlike before, this time -- we knew how to admit our faults, arrive at a compromise, forgive and move on. Those things were the ones that set our demise when we tried to be in a relationship a few years back. Back then, we were young and proud-- and we felt that admitting our faults would make us less of a person. No. That's not the way things are right now. WE HAVE CHANGED and we're proud to have changed.

Yesterday made me realize how important it was for me to forget the past. Comparing his being to who he was back then is a mortal sin. Apparently, HE has moved on and changed. I was the only one who didn't. Gawsh.. Stupid Ali. haha!!!

We engaged in mushy talk that night and planned for our advance monthsary celebration on Monday. We both can't wait and we're glad to know that we have lasted a whole month.. this is the start of everything and we're both happy that this thing we've got started soooooooo well...xx

One Crazy Day

It started out fine. I was hyper, and excited for U-Break 'cause I know we were bound to meet. And I know how it is when we meet. Things never go dull, we always have a good laugh, kulitan with a bit of asaran on the side. And so I met up with her with the understanding that we'll go someplace else, someplace we usually don't go to during other school days. But she didn't want to go outside school premises. Slowly, i got pissed until I got disappointed. My energy level went from really high to really sucky. There might be something up with her, I thought. But when I saw the disappointment in her eyes for being so pushy, I stepped up and asked her where she wanted to go. The library she said and so there we went. When we got there, nothing out of the ordinary happened, just the usual. Just her eyes doing that blank, confused, scared stare I hate seeing when she remembered Kent. I hate it when I see her like that. Like something stirs.

Then dismissal time came. I felt like walking her from Andrew Hall all the way to south gate just for the fun of it. And so I asked her if she had a good day with meand her answer came. She told me it was generally good but she got bored. And all hell let loose. I got bummed that she said that to me. I felt so powerless that I couldn't even get a hold of the one thing that mattered to me. And so issues came flying outta nowhere. But something she said hit me. "Nothing has changed. Even the trivial things get you so mad". Figuring that fighting would get us nowhere and that we see each other point's I stopped right there. And i dunno but tears started drowning my eyes again. She daw it and she softened up. She just held my hand and wiped the tears I had. Full of drama, right but I realized it was my fault. I learn more and more and I hope I'd never react the same way again. I ruined the whole day for us but we came halfway and fixed up right then and there.

She cried during Lunch

She (Ali) came texting me last night, asking help from me, sounding terribly in need of help, indeed. Apparently, her ex-boyfriend e-mailed her telling her that he wants him back. I am not one who loves the attention of scandalous ordeals and its cousins and so I wouldn't want to divulge what the mail contained. But basically, it went as the guy professed his old love for Ali. Knowing him, a jock and all that, I take his intentions darkly and negatively. I don't see how he could still be in love with her when it is him who left her for some other girl. And to pop in after so long without their lines of communication open? There was something telling me things ain't right. She got scared, and confused until she couldn't help it anymore. Her tears just flowed out when I read the mail and asked her how she feels. To the guy, stop bothering Ali. She's happy where she is right now--with me.

But personally, I wanna thank the guy. He reminded me how hard I worked for me and I to be where we are right now. For more than 4 long years, this is what we've both been working for. And I am going to make sure that nothing or nobody will get in the way. Not now, when everything is as real as it can be. Actually, it made both of our days perfect. I breezed through the day, nothing really stressing aside from Intreco, as always and the thoughts that I'm about to major in less than a month. After a month, it was also the first time I went home early again. No rehearsals for Remix '06 anymore. Ahhhh, i missed this. I missed everything.

..of beauty (and how i don't fit the mix)..

"Beautiful women are skinny..."
"Ethnic women have a different kind of struggle when it comes to accepting their beauty..."
"..it is difficult for many women of color to find themselves beautiful because of the faces that stare from television sets and magazine covers.."
"..Society puts in our minds that blonde hair and blue eyes is the only way to be beautiful.."

One thing you should know about me is the fact that i was never insecure about the way i looked. im a proud morena who stands at 5feet and and inch (thank God for the extra boost in height) and my hair's frizzier than the frizziest lion mane that's ever existed. I wear the dorkiest glasses ever invented but hey!! i don't seem to care one bit..

people tell me to "rebond my hair" or "to get contacts".. oftentimes, i ponder upon these suggestions but end up not following them. Why? because these things will just practically destroy who I AM.. why do i have to follow what PEOPLE WANT ME TO BE when i could live my life THE WAY I WANT TO and LOOK THE WAY I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN DESTINED TO LOOK?

i don't have to follow a template in order to live my life and be who i am. if people classify me as " ugly" just because i don't possess the qualities "beautiful women" possess, it's not my problem.. it's theirs.

i don't need plastic surgery or hair rebonding to make me look beautiful. and thank God i have a boyfriend who sees that. i luv yah hunny!! :-D

Remix '06: Showtime!

After 1 month of hard practice, body aching moves and a lot of frustration, not to mention going home at 8 pm everynight even when my classes ended at 2, everything paid off. No, I'm not saying this for we won anything, no we didn't, but because fulfillment came as we danced. Days before the show, we all said to each other that even if we didn't, we wouldn't feel bad about anything for we came there to perform, not compete even if it was all a competition. We were the 2nd group up to dance after La Salle Dance Company's opening number and the first crew so we still got to watch the other groups perform after us. We knew they were good, better than us. I knew where we stood, 3rd place or nothing at all. But sadness didn't come eating me up.

The exhiliration I felt was extraordinary. Clear shouts of distant people when the lights blacked out when we came out, the cheers, the text messages coming from friends before the show telling you how much they support you--memories I will cherish forever. My girlfriend, Ali, was there to cheer me on and see for the first time that I can dance. To you, hunny, thank you so so much. We'll do this again next year, alright? And to my four newly found friends, Swagger, thanks for the experiences. Tell your friends to reserve tickets for next year. This ain't over. To everyone who came to watch, it was all for you. :-)

..MY side of the story..

..BOYS are EVIL.. GIRLS are not..

this was what was taught to me when i was 5years of age..yeah, you could say i lived in a black and white world, but hey-- it kinda helped me understand the nature of the opposite sex. I mean, in every movie i saw back then, the evil guys happened to be.. well, guys. But i never wanted to be a "damsel in distress" so i figured, if I were to have a relationship, I would always be the one coming out on top. Now this, i formulated when i was twelve.. on the eve of my Graduation, the 3rd day my first boyfriend courted me.

Yes, I had a boyfriend -- in the past. He was everything i thought PRINCE CHARMING would be -- smart, hunky and a six pack!! WHOOO!! just being with him made me think of marriage (every girl's dream, might i add) and how much the other girls envied me for being with the cutest Senior nerd... being a Freshman and scoring with a Senior gave you a spot in the "Socialite's Hall of Fame".. HAHA!! However, after eight months of professing my love for him, he left me for someone else (a year after he started courting me). It was then i realized how "unfit" i seemed to be for a relationship -- yeah, i was ugly and nerdy and bitchy and moody.. No guy wanted to be with someone like me.. Hello spinsterhood!!

And then I remembered.. September 12, 2002. out of boredom, i decided to engage myself in some Chatroom action over at the local music channel.. at that time, i went ga-ga over this certain boyband and freaked out at the fact that i met someone who was just like me.. what surprised me all the more was that this new "someone" i met.. was a guy.

Yeah, we exchanged numbers and started texting each other... yeah, we were textmates who happened to have a similar taste in music (back then.. things have evolved right now but it's still okay..).. the one thing i never saw coming was that this guy i was texting back in 2002, would eventually be someone else years later. And as he probably would have said, we went through a lot.. A LOT.. of deep shit just to make that happen.

I called him Shaft.. oftentimes when i got mad at him, i'd call him Amiel.. During our first go, we fought a lot.. but hey, im guessing it was normal for 14 and 15 year olds to clash when they didn't arrive at something called a "compromise". We fought over the lamest things in life and finally ended it in 2004.. or so we thought.

To my surprise, he stuck with me.. he was the type of guy who'd usually tell me "see ya around" after we fight.. but whoa!! staying for 4whole years with the same girl-- being with her for 2 years and courting her AGAIN for another 2 years-- yes, people.. WHOA!!! sheer patience and determination.. and those happen to be the two things i love about my guy.. i admit he isn't nothing like how i envisioned my IDEAL guy to be: he aint chinito and shit, but hey-- he's better than all those chinito guys combined..!! he's smart, he's serious, he's passionate, he's funny, he holds my hand when he knows i need him, and he's just amazing.. he surprises you when you least expect it, and that alone gives me a reason to love him -- i love surprises to the max!!

Yeah.. we're together now.. since July 21, 2006 -- know your digits. And for those who couldn't swallow reality (i know there ARE some of you), embrace it and face it. +I LOVE HIM and HE LOVES ME+ and nothing could ever come between us..

**********

FOR THOSE WHO WATCHED REMIX ' 06 and caught SWAGGER perform: my thanx to ALL of you guys for coming in to support my boyfriend and his group.. You guys all know how much this means to him and your undying support proved just how much you understood that. THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!

Shiftee's Primer

September 2002, my life started changing and I thought it ended come some time in 2004. But little did I know that I was making way for an even better and bigger thing.

Seven.TwentyOne.TwoDouble0Six... and the rest is once more, history. This is our story, me and her. And although things and even us try to put our relationship to an end, we know we're destined for greater things that together we'll witness. It doesn't start here, the whole story. There's for years worth of that. Four years worth recounting for everything just unfolded to make way for today.

And that is why we write. To prove that even if we're concealing everything, we're brave enough to make a bold move of proclamation...and of course... to be simply crazy.

To new and old times,

the deranged pedestrian